(Unnamed) Stadium: A 'gut-wrenching' experience

My first pancake in 10 days.

By Ed Piper

"You're going on a liquid diet (for stomach troubles)," the doctor in Urgent Care told me. I replied, "Oh, that'll be quite an experience. We're going to (name of Major League ballpark) tomorrow."

And so I did: Driving to an (unnamed) MLB park for a weekday game, 1 p.m. start--most of the driving, especially in traffic, because my wife doesn't do traffic.

What an experience.

We got there in plenty of time. We enjoyed the game, she in Cardinals red hat and "Musial" jersey (3XL, my size, looking like her nightwear, as one fan told us) with "Stan the Man"'s number 6 on the back.

By 6 p.m., stuck in massive traffic, cars barely moving, we finally hit the wall. Dianna hadn't had anything to eat since noon. Me, on a liquid diet--I bought Sprite in a souvenir cup, sipped some (I'm allergic to sugar) and my wife a little, then threw the rest out, keeping the ice and filling the cup with water from the drinking fountain.

I had finished the five or so vegetable-and-fruit pouches I had brought, so I was stranded with nothing else to eat.

I Googled directions to a Vons, we got off the I-5 at Firestone Blvd. in Norwalk--I realizing that I had to break my liquid fast after a day-and-a-half and eat some protein to keep driving--and instead, found a Target.

I ate a peanut butter energy bar, two hard-boiled eggs (finally, proteina (I'm using Spanish). At the Starbucks counter inside Target, Dianna ordered something (I'm having memory-blank-flashback--not really) and I ordered a sausage-egg-cheese breakfast sandwich (at 6:15 at night!).

We sat down and enjoyed them. A few tears, but we had hit the wall and overcome it. We regrouped, there sitting at the table inside Starbucks inside Target.

And that is the story of the first Major League game I have ever gone to on a liquid diet. I looked longingly at Di's cheeseburger she ate at (unnamed) Stadium.

We experienced all of it, and came out alive.

Oh, and by the way, the (unnamed team) came back and won the game, 6-5. Michael Conforto, Italian-American like my wife, struggling at the plate, had a run-producing single in their late rally to help win the game.