LJ sports: 'Shrink' or coach?

By Ed Piper

There was a man lurking around the water polo and baseball programs at La Jolla High I caught glimpses of for a few years. As a long-time (now 15 years) but peripheral (my own media) member of the Viking community, I didn't know who he was.

But I did observe him to be calm, obviously connected with student athletes and coaches in the two programs as was evident from his frequent presence at games and chats with individual team members, and apparently having integrity.

Someone, when I asked, said Brian Alexander (I didn't yet know his name) was the "mental skills coach" at LJHS. I thought, boy, this is quite a change from the days--I'm 64--when I played, and a "shrink" or psychologist around athletes could be looked on favorably, or: You really have a problem, dude! If you need therapy, your teammates very likely would see you as a "head case", never a compliment back in the day.

Another issue I found curious, again, looking from the outside, was the fact this gentleman moved in the circles of water polo and baseball--two very different sports, with not a lot of overlap between athletes and adherents.

I finally found an opportunity recently to introduce myself to Brian, a solid hulk of a man. I mentioned my water polo-baseball curiosity.

"It has to do with relationships. Finding coaches who I can work with, and who can work with me, who are comfortable with having me around," Alexander, a former elite water polo player, confided at poolside at Coggan Pool that afternoon.

I can definitely relate to that. As a media person covering all the Viking teams, but on my media outlets on my terms, not every coach is comfortable with my presence. Coaches' receptions spanning a decade and a half range from Jason Carter, then head football coach, stopping in the middle of a scrimmage at Parker to greet me by name, "Hi, Ed," and shake my hand. We had never met before, and this signaled his awareness of media as well as his open-arms welcome of me to be around his team.

On the other end of the spectrum was the (long-ago, name forgotten) girls golf coach, a dozen or more years ago, whom I had not introduced myself to, yet had taken photos at his girls' matches. While I snapped photos of warm-ups, he called over, "My girls say your shutter bothers them." I thought, That's interesting. At the time, I carried in my mind (being a photographer), All people like photos. That isn't true, but I didn't know it at the time.

That day, I walked the course at Torrey Pines, took hundreds of photos of the Vikings girls golfers, then went on my way. On the drive home from Del Mar, it dawned on me what the coach meant: He was telling me he really did not want me around. So I didn't return to that sport for a decade.

So, long story to make my point, I immediately could grasp what Brian was saying about a connection and a fit.

What's more, in reading Alexander's website, I realize that he is providing a service. He is in business. He counsels coaches and their athletes in how to think about their sport and their performance. He charges for this service. So, the arrangement has to be amicable to both sides.

"I also have to see if there is a connection with athletes," Alexander explained. This was right before a recent Vikings girls water polo match, so after an amiable chat, he excused himself and took his place in the tiny bleachers at which La Jolla was sitting.

Not all athletes are open to such coaching. I know an elite athlete related to my extended family who was a top college performer in his sport, who has struggled in the pros, yet rejects any opportunity to receive "mental skills" coaching. The explanation that has been passed on to me is that he doesn't want to take the chance he might fail even after consulting a sports psychologist (that's what they used to be called)--that would be final failure.